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NikHatter.com

NikHatter  //  It's their only way out.

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May 25 / 8:33am

Making "Back to the Future" Better

Have you ever wondered how Back to the Future could possibly get any better?

No.  Of course you haven’t.  Because you have purposed in your heart that Back to the Future is not only as good as it will ever be but it is the pinnacle and epitome of all time travelling stories—sorry, but even including LOST.  Yet, we here at NikHatter.com, have come up with a way to make it even better.

Well, not really us, no.  We weren’t, whatchacall…sharp enough to see this.  But let’s give credit where credit is due here:  Congratulations, The Internet.  Now we feel better…and honest….and yet, still dirty.

Either way look, watch, rewatch, and enjoy.

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May 24 / 8:06am

So this is Lost

http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/05/24/jimmy-kimmels-funny-lost-alternate-endings-video/

http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/05/24/lost-this-is-the-end-part-one-video/

http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/05/24/lost-this-is-the-end-part-two-video/

As you all know, Lost is now finished.

Are you satisfied?  Was it a let down? Or was it everything you had hoped for…and more?

Jack and the group have been through a lot.  A lot of crying, a lot of fighting, a lot of himmin’ and hawin’.  But overall I’d say they are better for it.

Most of these people didn’t know they were capable of such atrocities.  Nor did they know they could survive on rain water with smoke monsters and polar bears looming.

It’s fairly obvious though.  Isn’t it?  All this could have been avoided:   FILL IN THE BLANK

 

(What do you think the easiest way to avoid the whole series would have been?)

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May 12 / 8:33am

Super 8

By now, we’ve all seen the insanity that was Cloverfield.  It was good and difficult at the same time.  The monster was believable and the viral(ness) of the marketing was impeccable.  The problem is how to reproduce that thrill for audiences in the nexcapade.

J.J.Abrams will try…and most likely succeed.

We all know that the true alien ship and technology is not in Area 51, but rather divided and sent to different locations throughout the nation and the world for study.  Most of the products that we receive from their tech has been studied and developed at the R & D MajCom of the Air Force, which is Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Fairfield, Ohio.

So far, this is the only thing that makes this trailer believable.  If they are trying to send us a message that things like this will be a common occurrence soon, I think they need to do a better job.

P.S.  the creature is really tired after the train wreck and has to go to a Super 8 hotel to sleep it off.  The End.

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May 11 / 11:14am

Darth Vader and Tom Tom

For years they’ve been telling us that we will be able to capture the fantasy and wonder of our childhood heroes on the little devices known as Tom Tom’s.

But what they didn’t explain is that there would also be nightmares.  Pure, unadulterated haunting that make us shudder; that make us tremble; that make us quake with terror to our very core.  They never told us that we would feel the force and kneel before our new master.  They never warned us of the POWER of the Dark Side of the Force amidst the joy and free-spirited instruction of our beloved GPS.

And now….feel the Force.

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May 10 / 6:05am

Myq Kaplan - Like the Asians Do

I’ve never heard of Myq Kaplan, but his lack of timing and his extremely smart wit puts him in the forefront of the comedy central showcase.  I believe that I could listen to this man/boy for at least 20 minutes per week.

http://comedians.jokes.com/myq-kaplan/videos/myq-kaplan---exclusive---fighting-ignorance

I do however think he has a incalculably good grasp on prejudicisms and stereotyping.  In other words, the guy is a smart person or a significantly diverse heritage.

Enjoy as we here at NikHatter.com have done over the past 10 minutes…and as we will do over the next 10!

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May 6 / 1:51pm

I Think I Saw this Movie


In the event of this sort of outbreak, be sure to be single.

Really, I mean honestly, when this sort of thing occurs, which we in America seem to be obsessed with, make sure you are unattached and unmarried.  It’s called “Stress Induced Love.”  Go ahead, look it up.

My point here is that this very funny xkcd cartoon is not too far off from reality.  How often do we see the hero guy/gal having some sort of fearful sexual tension with the untrustworthy CIA shill.

(oh, he new about the serum ….reca’nize!)

In summary…be forewarned.  Do not go up against zombies if you are in a relationship.

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Apr 29 / 1:18pm

Smile, the World Loves You

Alright, raise your hand if you’re just plum loco crazy about the US of A?

Anyone?...Anyone at all?...Anyone who’s breathing will do.

Well here at NikHatter.com, we thought not.  But hey that may just be a fluke in our readership, and if that’s true—you oughta be ashamed of yourselves.

It’s obvious that we should just move right to the charts:

As you can see by the flying lines hovering above absolute zero, Iran is only 25 people (average, of course) below America.  Wow.  Stunning.

Our response to that is, “Good for you Iran…who knew you were that well liked?”  I mean Mahmoud Ahmadinejad truly may be considered a cutie by some (Andy Samberg) but not by 15%.

And now, the chart to the right.  Hmmm…I wonder why Mexico thinks badly of us?

   
Click here to download:
Smile_the_World_Loves_You.zip (19 KB)

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Apr 28 / 1:39pm

Tired of Too Much Detail?

Me too!  Give me story in my comics and my televised media.

Now really what do I want with the same tears in the same shirt that Jack has worn on the island for all 108 days?

TOO MUCH DETAIL!!

For all of you that are with me on this minimalist media journey, I have enclosed a <i>fabulous</i> collection of what televised and comicized media should look like.

I know many of you out there will argue until Dr. Manhattan is blue in the face, but I’ve made up my mind.

Why does Spider-Man need webbing?

Why does Daredevil need a belt?

Why Hit Girl a mouth?

And don’t even get me started on Dr. Fate….that guy *rolls eyes*

http://screenrant.com/30-awesome-minimalist-superhero-posters-aco-56133/

                           
Click here to download:
Tired_of_Too_Much_Detail.zip (143 KB)

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Apr 26 / 1:26pm

Those Amazing Cephalopods

Those Amazing Cephalopods

It’s no secret that the staff of NikHatter.com loves the sea life, but did you know that our favorite animal is the Octobot?

Hold up, that’s not right.  What’s it ca…?

Right—the octopus, that’s it.

We just love us some octopus.

But did you know the reason WHY we love this majestic creature for all of time until the seas dry up by the first Chinese Brother?  Because of its ability to mimic other creatures.  Check it out:

Why is this important?  Because camo is cool, didn’t you get the memo?

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Apr 19 / 6:05am

Probing the Big Bang

No one really likes the idea of probing—except scientists…and aliens.  Mainly scientists.  But that doesn’t matter to the heads of state that are building CLASS (Cosmology Large Angular Scale Surveyor).

The good news is that this thing is a “big step in measurement capability” and that it will be “looking for something 30-billionths of a degree above absolute zero.”  The bad news?  It was built using $5 million dollars in federal economic stimulus money.  Oh, but money well spent.

One thing troubles me though:  I’m no mathematician, but I think that I’d be looking for something 30-100 millionths of a degree above absolute zero.  That would reduce their efforts I believe.  (A nano-bite of arithmetic humor for you!)

And on top of all this, DiscoveryNews thought it necessary to throw in a video about the CERN LHC:  http://news.discovery.com/videos/tech-lhc-collides-at-record-speeds.html

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